


Not too late

by Amee19



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Apologies, Communication, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, fixing mistakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26804020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amee19/pseuds/Amee19
Summary: It's not too late to fix his mistakes and learn how to do better.After the events of season 5 and 6, Eliott realizes those last few months haven't been easy and is decided to fix what went wrong.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 137
Kudos: 178





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys ❤❤❤ It's me again and I'm here today with a brand new story. In this universe, season 5 and 6 went down exactly the way they happened in the show but Eliott realizes that he may have done some mistakes and it's up to him now to fix them.
> 
> You know me by now, I'm not a major fan of angst so there will be some tiny bits of it in this story but everything gets fixed 😌❤
> 
> So I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you think 😊❤

It hits Eliott on a Wednesday evening. It's not a big epiphany that comes out of nowhere. It's more subtle. It's been slowly creeping its way into his mind for a while but he's only now realizing it.

It's a pretty boring Wednesday evening. His shift at the videoclub is nearly over when it happens. The place is empty and there's only half an hour left before he can go home. He's rearranging the DVD's in the horror section which has been bothering him all day, humming to the song playing on the radio when the realization hits him. He feels a shiver going down his spine as the last few months run through his mind on fast forward. Too much has happened way too quickly recently and a lot of those things have yet to be fully resolved. Lucas and him both dealt with their fair share of shit individually but he feels like their couple has suffered too through it and although they're okay now, he can't help but wonder if they truly are.

They go to bed every night together. They kiss and have sex like they've been doing since they started dating. Neither of them is giving the other the silent treatment or the cold shoulder. There's no awkwardness when they're just the two of them together at their apartment. And yet, Eliott fears the impact of those last few months might have put on their relationship. After all, they're both good at internalizing and pretending everything is alright until one day, it just gets too much and it blows up in their faces.

Lucas. Arthur. The boys and the girls. Idriss and Sofiane. Lola. La mif. Lucas. How did it all happen? On New Years, he was convinced 2020 was going to be a great year and in a way, it has been but at what price? He made his first movie, yeah, but with people he barely knows. Just because he had been so damn insecure and didn't want to bother anyone so he waited until the last minute when none of the people he wanted to do this project with were available anymore. This was meant to be his and Lucas' moment, to show his boyfriend how much he loves him, how grateful he is to have him in his life but instead, it benefited Lola and Maya. Not that he's unhappy they got together but it happened at the expense of him and Lucas'. Fuck! What if he had used Polaris just like he wanted to in the beginning? Shit!

And Lucas. His hedgehog. His love. His destiny like he had called him in one of the drawings he had given him while trying to get him back after fucking things up between him. Eliott isn't naive. He knows that what happened between Arthur, Noée and Alexia as well as the story between Arthur's parents and Emma's mother must have brought back some painful memories for his boyfriend. He still means what he said to the boys that day, that he's not proud of what he did to Lucille but it allowed him to end with Lucas so he can't regret it. However, now that he thinks of it, they should have talked that day. Their relationship hasn't erased his boyfriend's abandonment issues especially not with what happened afterward.

Lola. He doesn't regret trying to help her out of the dark place but now, now he knows he shouldn't have neglected his own mental health for that. Those words that were said at the nightclub. His actions. Sometimes he has nightmares about them. He dreams of the police officer calling Lucas to ask him to pick him up but then his boyfriend says they can keep him and never come. When Eliott is later released, he runs to their apartment but finds it empty. Well, half empty. His things are still there but every trace of Lucas is gone. His clothes, his toothbrush, his coconut scented shampoo, his classic rock CD's. Even what belonged or represented the two of them. His drawings of them, the mural. Like he never existed at all. Or like he wanted Eliott to forget his very existence.

How did Eliott really think giving Lola his role in the movie could be a good idea? And how come he forgave her so easily after what she said to him? He doesn't have anyone else to blame but himself for that. Himself and his loneliness.

The way he knows Basile, the poor guy would probably cry if he ever knew it but the thing is, even after a year, Eliott still doesn't fully feel like part of the gang. It's not like the boys have ever done anything but accept him wholeheartedly. Hell, he still remembers their reaction when Lucas told them they were dating last year. They invite him to the parties they go or even when they just go to Mika's bar but he's always the one to decline the invitations.

Same thing goes for Idriss and Sofiane. He had thought that everything would be alright after making up with them but things still haven't gone back to the way they were before everything blew up between them. He doubts they ever will though. With Sofiane, it's a little easier as he's dating Imane who's a friend of Lucas but Idriss is a whole other story. He should have known a hug wouldn't fix everything, wouldn't erase the months spent apart, the secrets he kept.

Maybe that's why he tried to become friends with Lola and la mif. It's easier with someone he never knew before rather than fix things with those he did know. It's not the same though, he realizes that now, and he was stupid to think it ever would be. What was he thinking of hanging out with a bunch of sixteen years old? They aren't bad. Just young. Too young. And although the gang has often teased Basile for his "huge man-crush" on him, it's not like how things are with Jo. She knows Lucas, she has even met him, and yet, sometimes, he still feels like someday she's going to launch herself at him and kiss him. The others, Max, Sekou and Maya find it pretty funny but he doesn't. He was looking for friends, not fans.

Fans of him. Of Otelli. Or urbex. Why did he ever lie to Lucas about it? When has his boyfriend ever been anything but supportive and understanding? Whether it's his drawings or movie or music tastes, Lucas might tease him for them but he would never think any of his interests is a whim. He's not Lucille. He's never been anything like her.

And Arthur? He could have been there for him. He could have helped him. Mental illness and deafness aren't the same but they're similar in some ways. Invisible disabilities. He could have prevented Arthur from ever feeling as lonely as he did when he was diagnosed.

How did it happen? Why did he let all of this happen? How did it come to this? Why didn't he see any of this before?

Sighing, Eliott gives up on the horror section and closes his eyes before leaning against the shelves. He takes one deep breath and holds the air in for a few seconds before exhaling. And then he repeats. He does it for a few minutes before everything finally stops spinning around him.

He could have lost Lucas. He could have lost the one thing he loves more than anything in the world. But he didn't. Thank God he didn't.

He can't erase what happened recently and fix the wrong choices he took but there's one thing he can do though. He can try to make up for it. He can try to fix what can be fixed. He can try to do better in the future.

The realization hits him on a Wednesday evening at the videoclub but that's also when he makes himself a promise. The year might have started off badly but before the end of it, he will have fixed things up. He needs to. He will.

There's not a lot he can do from his workplace but he can do one major thing. Something simple that might seem casual but right now he needs to do it.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and opens up his and Lucas' conversation before typing a message.

It doesn't make him feel any better. If anything, he feels even worse afterward. A love declaration shouldn't make Lucas worry and wonder if everything is alright but that's the evidence he needed of the strain on their relationship. If Lucas isn't used to random love declarations like that anymore, that means Eliott has an awful lot of work to do. But he will do all of it and he won't stop. Not until his boyfriend finally knows just how much he loves him.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad to recognize some many familiar people in the comments and for those who never read my work before today, well hi and welcome 🥰
> 
> I feel like I own this fic a little backstory. Basically, I blame Amira (@lightsauriant on twitter) for this. They're the one because of who I ended up buying the Maxel meeting at the last online convention and that's when they both mentioned how much they were dissapointed by the lack of Elu in season 5 and 6. Those of you who know me know I already rewrote those two seasons entirely but hearing Maxence and Axel made me wonder how did Lucas and Eliott dealt with the aftermath of those two seasons so this new fic was created.
> 
> I'm so happy you guys like it already 🥰❤🥰❤🥰 I hope you will like what I have planned for the future too
> 
> So please enjoy this chapter and tell me what you think ❤❤❤

Once his shift is over, Eliott can't run home fast enough. He's out of breath by the time he reaches the building, his legs are burning and it feels like his heart is about to burst out of his ribcage but at least he's finally home. He takes a moment outside to just breathe with his hands on his thighs as he waits for the dizziness to pass. He doesn't want to walk inside like that and for Lucas to worry even more about him so only once he no longer looks like he ran all the way across Paris while being chased by a horde of zombies does he walk inside and climb up the stairs two at the time.

His hands are trembling as he tries to unlock the door of the apartment and he even drops his keys, causing him to swear under his breath. It's not like he has any reason to be this nervous already. He knows Lucas is there, that he hasn't packed his things and left and yet, he's terrified to face his boyfriend. He might be good at hiding his fears but Lucas is getting really good at reading through the facade he puts up. He has never forced him to talk but he has always made it clear he wasn't buying Eliott's bullshit. Thinking of it now, it's probably one of the many reasons he loves Lucas this much.

It feels like it has taken him forever but after a minute, he finally manages to unlock the door and he quickly walks inside, closing and locking the door behind him. All lights are off except for the bedroom's which he can see coming from underneath their door. He takes off his boots and hangs up his coat by the entrance before quietly making his way through the dark apartment. The dishes from Lucas' dinner are already done which means his boyfriend is nervous and wanted to busy himself.

He bites his lower lip nervously as he slowly turns the doorknob and pushes it open. Lucas who's laying down on the bed, anxiously scrolling down his phone, immediately looks up from it and throws it aside as he sits up. He smiles at Eliott but it doesn't quite reach his eyes which are filled with love as well as worry.

"Hey," he greets him, running a hand through his hair, messing it up even further.

"Hi," Eliott greets his boyfriend right back, feeling himself smile for the first time in over an hour.

Lucas sighs happily and pushes down the covers before patting the mattress beside him.

"Come here," he asks, making grabby hands at the older boy and when has he ever been able to say no to his hedgehog, not that he would like to.

He quickly takes off his shirt as well as his jeans and throws them away, not minding at all where they land before sitting down next to his boyfriend who immediately wraps his arms around him. Lucas pulls him into a tight hug and all while holding him, Eliott maneuvers them until they're laying down facing each other.

"I missed you," he whispers into the crook of his boyfriend's neck before pressing a gentle kiss right over the mole there, a spot he's particularly fond of.

This makes Lucas shiver in his arms but Eliott can feel his smile widen against the bare skin of his shoulder.

"I missed you too," he replies, tightening his arms around Eliott.

They stay tangled up like that for a moment before the older boy pulls back, sighing happily. He can see the confusion flashes through Lucas' big blue eyes so he quickly cups his face and pulls him so their foreheads are pressed against each other, their noses brushing together. He gently strokes his cheeks with his thumbs and sighs happily.

"Sometimes I still can't believe you're really here with me," he admits out loud with a little smile. "That out of everyone you could have got, you chose me."

"Eliott, I-" Lucas tries to say but he's nowhere near done yet.

"I mean it!," he presses on, his smile widening a little. "You're smart, you're kind, passionate, talented. And so damn beautiful. But you still chose me. And I'm so fucking grateful although I still can't understand why you did so."

It's nowhere near enough. He still has so many things to tell Lucas. He needs to tell him he gave him a reason to live, that he made him believe in life and in love again but that would be too much right now. He doesn't want to overwhelm his boyfriend or scare him away so that will have to do for tonight but this isn't over for as long there will be a trace of doubt left in Lucas.

"I love you," he says. "I love you so fucking much, Lucas and I feel like I don't tell you enough but I'm going to work on it, I swear."

He doesn't even realize he has started crying until the other boy cups his cheeks and brushes away the tears rolling down his face with feather light touch.

"I know you love me, Eliott," Lucas tells him but there's a slight tremble in his voice that absolutely shatters Eliott's heart.

He managed to make his boyfriend doubt of his love for him. Shit! He really did fucked things up if they got to that point!

"I know!" Lucas repeats, sounding like he's trying to convince himself too of that. "I do! And I love you too!"

There's more he wants to say but that's enough for tonight as they're both already on the edge of breaking down. So instead, he nods a little weakly and presses his lips to Lucas', pulling him into a soft kiss that tastes like salt. One kiss becomes two, then three, then four before Eliott pulls back just enough to gaze into Lucas' eyes one last time.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Then, as if feeling Eliott's needs, Lucas turns around in his embrace, allowing the older boy to spoon him from behind, both of his arms wrapped tightly over him. There's not an inch of distance left between them. Lucas' entire spine is pressed to Eliott's chest who has one hand on his boyfriend's lower abdomen, pushing him even closer while the other is resting over his chest, feeling his heartbeat underneath his palm.

Sleep comes quickly for Lucas while Eliott remains awake, haunted by his own mind. He could have lost this. He nearly did. How would he have lived with himself afterwards? How would he go on with his life? Would life even be worth living? An idea immediately flashes through his mind but he chases it away. He doesn't want that kind of thoughts to come back. Three times was enough already. Too much even.

No. He doesn't know what he would have done but he doesn't need to wonder about it. It didn't happen because Lucas, like the sunshine he is, gave him a chance, forgave him for nearly ruining everything between them. It's not the first time it happens. After he pulled back the week after their first kiss, his episode during their first official date. But this time feels different though. It's not because they didn't know each other enough or because of how new they were at this. No. This time, it was Eliott's choices and actions that could have ruined them.

It can't go on like that. He knows that. And he knows what he needs to do. It's not something he's particularly fond of, hence why he hasn't done so before, but if it's what he needs to do, he will do it. Not only for Lucas or for their relationship but for himself too. He wants to be better.

He'll check in the morning. Right now, all he wants is to hold Lucas. He closes his eyes and buries his face into his neck as he tries to focus on his boyfriend's heartbeat, on the soft snores coming out of his mouth, on how sweet the short hair on the nape of his neck smells like.

_I have Lucas now. I can't afford to lose this._

It's time for him to act like it.

***

Eliott wakes up panicking the next morning. Once again, he dreamed of Lucas having enough, packing his things and leaving for good. It doesn't help to find the other side of the bed empty, the sheets already cold and it takes him a whole minute to remember Lucas is working this morning. He lets out a sigh of relief and lets him fall back on his pillows, closing his eyes as he tries to blink back the tears that were threatening to spill. He takes several deep breaths, running his hand through his heart until his heartbeat slows down a little and stops feeling like it's about to burst out of his ribcage.

He stays in bed for a little longer, stretching his arms until the joints crack and then gets up. As soon as he's standing, he sees it. The bright yellow post it note glued to their bedroom door, left there purposefully so he can't miss it. He finds himself smiling as he reads it.

"I love you too," he whispers into the empty apartment.

After he had finished his bac, Lucas had insisted to find himself a job for the summer. He knew he would have to quit when prep school would start but as he said, at least for a while, Eliott wouldn't be the only one paying the bills. Right now, a voice that sounds like his own is nagging the older boy in the back of his mind.

_What if he took a job just to get some time away from you?_

He shakes his head to himself and makes his way to the kitchen, yawning as he rubs the remaining sleepiness off his eyes. He makes some coffee and pours himself a mug before adding some sugar to it. He can't help but think back of the first coffee he had even drink with Lucas. It was the day after they had painted the mural of the common room. His boyfriend's eyes had grown wide when he had seen just how much sugar Eliott put in his.

"Seriously?" the other boy had asked him incredulously, laughing. "There's more sugar than coffee at this point! No wonder you're always bouncing around like that!"

Once he's satisfied with it, he sits down at the kitchen counter and pulls out his sketchbook as well as a pen out of the drawers. This isn't something he can allow himself to rush. He needs to do this properly so he might as well plan it. He takes a sip of his coffee and sets the mug down before starting to write

● Lucas  
● Myself  
● Sofiane  
● Idriss  
● The Gang  
-Yann  
-Arthur  
-Basile  
● Urbex  
● Lola  
● La mif

Sighing, he puts the pen away and runs a hand through his hair as he realizes just how much work he actually needs to do. It's not going to be easy and not everything might work out but he needs to try and even if all else fails, at least, he needs to fix things with Lucas.

He needs to get his trust back, to make him understand how much he loves him even though it might not be obvious all the time. He needs to work on himself, learn how to be and do better. He needs to talk with Sofiane as friends for once. He needs to make up with Idriss. He needs some time with the boys as the gang but also with each of them individually. He needs to come clean about urbex once and for all. Lucas might know about it but there's still things he needs to tell him. He needs to get over the nightclub incident and over the fears it brought back to the surface. He needs to speak to la mif too but for him, it's probably the least important thing out of the whole list. There's more pressing matters to take care of first.

That's why as soon as he's done drinking his coffee, he turns on his phone and starts looking.

***

Thankfully, he manages to get an appointment for Saturday which isn't such a bad thing after all as Lucas has a shift early in the morning that day. It's not that he wants to hide it from his boyfriend but he wants to see how it goes first.

That day, he makes sure to wake up early so they can spend some time together first. They eat breakfast on the couch while watching the cartoons playing on TV. Eliott can feel the other boy's eyes on him nearly through the whole thing. He knows Lucas is worried but that he won't ever pressure him into telling him what caused his little outburst on Wednesday evening but he also doesn't want his boyfriend to think something is wrong so each time he catches him staring, he giggles and kisses him softly. Lucas' lips taste like the sugar from the fruity cereals he's having but Eliott wouldn't trade it for anything.

"I love you," he makes sure to whisper after each kiss.

After that, they put the dishes away in the sink, promising themselves they'll wash them this evening after dinner and then they go take a shower. Neither of them initiates anything. They don't have much time anyway and the last thing Eliott wants is to rush it. He believes Lucas feels the same. Tonight will be another thing though but for now, kisses are enough.

They take turns into washing each other's back and hair, massaging the scalp. Eliott can't resist putting his boyfriend's hair up into a shampoo mohawk causing the younger boy to laugh and calling him an idiot before kissing him softly as the water washes away the shampoo.

They dry themselves up and get dressed for the day. Eliott's heart skips a beat in his chest when Lucas decides to borrow one of his hoodies for the day. It's making him look even smaller as it falls to his mid-thighs and he needs to roll up the sleeves. He looks so adorable Eliott can't resist cupping his face and pulling him into a kiss Lucas immediately deepens, slipping his tongue past his lips.

"I really need to go," he whispers after pulling back although he dives back in for another kiss.

Eliott sighs against his lips. He knows that. His boyfriend's manager at the coffee shop is nowhere as indulgent as his own at the videoclub is abd he doesn't want Lucas to get fired just because they couldn't keep their hands to themselves so he reluctantly pulls back from the kiss, his hands still stroking the younger boy's cheeks.

"Go then," he teases, brushing their noses together. "The sooner you're done with your shift, the sooner we can enjoy some time just the two of us."

His tone is filled with promises which seems to be enough to convince his boyfriend who sighs happily and nods.

"You've got something in mind?" he asks in a innocent tone although the smirk on his lips is nowhere innocent.

"Go!" is all Eliott can say, grinning as he playfully slaps Lucas' ass who jumps but giggles as he makes his way to the front door.

He puts on his shoes and grabs his backpack before pulling the older boy time into a goodbye kiss.

"I love you," he tells Eliott, smiling.

"I love you too," Eliott replies. "Now go before I tie you up to the headboard."

The words are out before he can think them through and they make Lucas' smile widen.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" he wonders but he's gone before Eliott can say anything.

Eliott watches fondly as his boyfriend walks down the staircase, feeling his heart swell up in his chest at just how much he loves this boy.

That's when he makes himself another promise. To never take Lucas for granted ever again like he did earlier this year.

***

An hour later, he finds himself in a waiting room, anxiously biting down on his nails as he waits for his turn. He knows this might not work right away, that some doctors and patients simply are incompatible and that doesn't mean something is wrong with either of them.

He never wanted to see a therapist before. Even right after his diagnosis, the last thing he wanted was to spill out everything to someone he barely knew. He took his pills, not always though, and he figured it would be enough but he has grown since them and now he knows. His meds might help with the episodes but they can't do anything dor what he feels deep inside. His insecurities, his fears, his regrets. That's why his parents and everyone at the hospital wanted him to see somebody.

And now is the right time for it. Not just to fix things with Lucas but for himself too. He wants to overcome his insecurities and fears to feel better about himself. To be better too. And for that, he needs a therapist.

He doesn't realize he's been dozing off into the distance before a man slowly approach him and crouch down so they're at the same level.

"Eliott?" the man wonders with a gentle smile. I'm doctor Antoine Dumas."

Oh. When he had called the clinic on Thursday, he had only spoken to the secretary so he had no idea of what would doctor Dumas be like but he certainly wasn't imagining him like the man next to him look like. He looks like to be in his mid-thirties and he has two full sleeves of tattoos. He's wearing a t-shirt from what Eliott can only assume to be some rock bands. Pretty far from the old man with a white jacket he was preparing himself to meet up with.

"Sorry," he apologizes, shaking his head before shaking the hand the man is offering him. "In my head, I guess I was just expecting someone, I don't know, different?"

"Older you mean?" Dr. Dumas jokes as Eliott stands up. "I get that a lot. Now if you want, we can continue this conversation in my office."

Eliott nods and follows him into the room, closing the door behind him. He's slightly taken back to find no chair on his side of the desk. Instead, there's two sofa chairs facing each other in a corner. He's about to ask if that's really where the session will take place but the doctor must have sensed his hesitation as he speaks up before him.

"It's more comfortable this way but if you want, we can each sit on a side of the desk," he offers Eliott with another kind smile. "It's up to you."

He briefly hesitates but then he takes a seat into one of the chair while Dr. Dumas sits down in the other one.

"You're not taking any notes?" he wonders out loud when he notices there's no notebook in sight.

"I know some people do," the man explains with a nod, "but for me, it's a little impolite to do this while someone is talking. Beside, I have a good memory."

Eliott lets out a nervous chuckle and looks down, rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans. He knows nobody forced him to come here today, that he did so willingly but he's anxious. He can't help it. Once again, Dr. Dumas must sense his uneasiness as he speaks up.

"Do you want to start by telling me a little about yourself?"

Eliott nods and takes a deep breath. That, he can do.

"Well, my name is Eliott Demaury, I'm 20 and I'm bipolar."

"You have been diagnosed?" the man wonders, causing Eliott to nod again.

"A while ago but I never wanted to see a therapist," he explains. "Before today."

He was expecting some comments about how it's about time he does so but it never comes. Instead, Dr. Dumas offers him an understanding smile.

"Well I'm glad you decided to do so but tell me, what changed your mind?"

"Lucas," Eliott immediately answers, feeling himself smile as he thinks of his hedgehog. "My boyfriend. Things haven't exactly been easy recently for us and I know I've hurt him. He forgave me and things are normal between us now but I don't want this to happen again. I want to get better now. For him but also for me. For us."

***

When Eliott exits the building an hour later with another appointment in two weeks, he feels slightly lighter, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It hasn't fixed everything but it's a good start. Thankfully, it seems to be working with Dr. Dumas. They talked a little bit about everything. Eliott's interests, his dreams, his projects, his relationship with his family, his friends, Lucas of course. They haven't dug in deep just yet but it will probably happen soon.

But now that it's done, he has to tell his boyfriend about it. Lucas had a short shift today so Eliott to walk around the city in the meantime before going to pick Lucas up at work.

It's a hot summer day. The sky is clear and there's not a single cloud in sight. It may be naive but he chooses to take it as a sign from the universe that everything is going to okay. It will take time but it will be okay.

After wandering around aimlessly for a while, he finally reaches the coffee shop. A quick look through the window is enough for him to see Lucas taking off his apron and putting away. Smiling, Eliott leans against the wall and waits. It only takes his boyfriend two more minutes before he walks out of the building and going right into the direction of their building. Thankfully, he hasn't noticed Eliott who takes the opportunity to sneak up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist, lifting him off the ground. Lucas will probably deny all the way to his deathbed the squeal he lets out at this moment and he earns himself looks for the people around them but Eliott doesn't give a fuck about any of them.

"Hello," he innocently greets his boyfriend with a smile after putting him back onto his feet and turning him around so they're facing each other.

"Hi," Lucas greets him back as he wraps his arms around Eliott's neck and pulls him into a kiss.

The older boy feels his smile widening against his boyfriend's lips and he tightens his own arms around his waist, pulling him as close as he can.

It's Lucas who pulls back first after a moment and the sight of him with his cheeks all flushed and his lips red and swollen is enough to send a shiver down Eliott's spine.

"How was work?" he wonders as they let go of each other but keep holding hands.

"Boring," Lucas whines as they start making their way down the street. "Remind me again why I wanted to work rather than fully enjoy this summer with you."

He can't help but smile at this as he hears his own voice speaking to him in the back of his mind but it's not nagging him this time.

_See? He wasn't trying to get away from you._

"I'm working too," he tries to remind the other boy who just snorts at him.

"Yeah but when has that ever stopped us from spending time together? That's why you have a basement at the video club! I don't see us making out on a table with all the customers looking at us."

Eliott chuckles at the image and pulls him closer so he can kiss his cheek.

"I love you," he whispers, brushing his nose against the shell of his boyfriend's ear.

"Love you too," Lucas replies, squeezing his hand.

They keep walking toward their appartment in a comfortable silence. If the younger boy has any doubts, he isn't showing them. Eliott takes a deep breath and decides that it's now or never.

"I did something this morning," he starts off trying to sound nonchalant but he can hear the way his voice is trembling a little.

He can feel Lucas tensing up beside him.

"Oh?"

"I went to see a therapist."

His boyfriend stills and Eliott stops walking, turning around so he can look at him. He can see many things flashing through Lucas' face. Surprise, disbelief, confusion, worry.

"Everything is alright?" he asks, the words stumbling out of his mouth quickly. "You're good? Do you want to tell me about it? Do you-"

But Eliott cuts him by pressing his lips onto his into a soft kiss and he doesn't pull back until he can feel Lucas relaxing in his embrace. He presses their foreheads together, their noses brushing against each other's.

"I'm alright," he reassures him, stroking his cheek with his free hand. "I'm good and it's because I want to stay like this I decided to see a therapist. I'm doing this so I can be better."

Lucas nods and his lips stretch into a timid smile.

"Is that why you've acting a little weird since Wednesday?"

It might not be the whole truth but that's at least the beginning of an explanation so he nods and his boyfriend squeezes his hand.

"How was it?" he wonders. "If you want to tell me about it."

"It was good," Eliott starts explaining as they resume making their way to their apartment.

He tells him all about their conversation except for what he said to Dr. Dumas about how he has hurt him and how he wants to fix the mistakes that were made recently. That's a subject for another day. For now, this is enough. More than just enough. For now, this is great and he wants to believe everything will go as smoothly as this.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me: I won't include smut in this one, I won't. Not every story needs smut.  
> Also me, ten minutes later: ...Goddamn it!!!
> 
> So chapter 3 ☺ I hope you're enjoying the ride so far 🥰❤
> 
> Here, Eliott is starting to cross off some things off his list 😊❤
> 
> And would you guys say if I told you I had an idea for another fic after this one? A proper Eliott season? Would any of you be into it?
> 
> Please tell me what you thought of this chapter 🥰❤ Enjoy

Eliott might have made a list of the things he needed to fix but actually fixing everything is easier said than done. At least, he took the first step already, that's a start, and right now he's beginning to take the second one. He knows from habits Sunday evenings are awfully calm and boring at the videoclub so he indulged himself and brought his sketchbook with him to work on a little something.

It's been a while since he last drew Lulu and Eli, their iconic hedgehog and raccoon. Far too long. He used to do it all the time. He would spend his free time doing those little doodles of the two of them doing everything from the most casual things such as cuddling from traveling all across the world. He remembers one in particular. The hedgehog was surfing while the raccoon was looking at him from the beach with heart eyes. He had named this one Bali.

"Who knows?" he had shyly mumbled against Lucas' shoulder the night he had given it to him. "Maybe that's where they will go for their honeymoon the day they'll get married."

He had expected his boyfriend to laugh it off but nothing ever came so he had looked up, slightly worried he may have gone overboard with his comment but he had seen the look of wonder on Lucas' face while his eyes were welling up with tears.

"I think Lulu would like that a lot," he had finally said, his voice filled with emotion and Eliott had felt himself grinning as he had pulled his boyfriend into a soft kiss.

And now, with the results of Lucas' bac coming this Tuesday, he figured now was the best time to bring their little companions back after such a long absence. Although he fully believes his boyfriend has passed his exams, he prefers to prepare for both possible outcomes.

The sketches are simple just like they've always been. The one he made just in case Lucas has to redo his last year shows Eli the raccoon holding Lulu tightly in his arms with a little bubble above their heads.

_I'm still proud of you. I love you._

However, he would rather have to give the second one to Lucas. The little hedgehog is wearing a navy blue graduation gown and cap like they always see in movies and he's holding his diploma up above his head while the raccoon is standing beside him, throwing handfuls of confettis into the air.

He smiles to himself when he finishes putting up the last touches to it and proudly sets his pencils down. He almost wants to take a picture and posts it on Instagram but that would ruin his surprise.

Instead, he sighs happily and leans back in his chair. That's another step done but that's not enough for tonight. He wants to do more and before he can chicken out, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and scrolls down his contact list until he finds the one he's looking for. His hands shake a little as he types out his message. He sends it immediately and closes his eyes, hoping he didn't fuck up everything even more with it.

A few seconds pass but nothing happens at first and he has to hold himself back from typing another message, apologizing for bothering him but thankfully he gets an answer after a minute of waiting. His phone buzzes once, twice, then thrice and he takes a deep breath before checking it.

Suddenly, he finds himself smiling down at his phone like a madman. He agreed to come here. It's the first thing they'll see each other again without having Lucas and Imane around since he left for Australia what seems to be a lifetime ago. Maybe their friendship isn't as beyond salvation as he had imagined it to be. And if there's hope for him and Sofiane, then maybe there's some too for him and Idriss.

However, he quickly realizes that Sofiane probably doesn't even know where is the videoclub so he sends him the address only for his friend to tell him he already asked Imane about it.

But now that it's settled, he feels his nerves coming back. What are they supposed to talk about after spending so much time away? Are they even supposed to talk about it or should they just act like nothing happened and pick up where they left things so long ago? Eliott knows he wants to apologize for being such a shitty friend through the last year but he doesn't have any excuse. He was just scared. Terrified even. But now is the time to face the music. If they can't ever go back to the way before, at least, he'll know now rather than wonder about what could happen and if tonight is the last time he can ever call Sofiane his friend, then so be it. He'll learn how to deal with it and it will still be better than the awkward dance they've been doing around each other since Sofiane came back from Morocco.

To keep himself busy as he waits for him, he decides to finish the horror section he had started on Wednesday and that now seems even worse than before. He manages to clean most of the mess before the bell above the door rings and he slowly turns around. However, he wasn't expecting to come face to face with Sofiane holding a box from a pizzeria they've spent way too much money at with Idriss once they were younger.

"You still take mustard with your crust?" the other boy teases him with a smirk. "Or have your pregnant woman tastes gotten even worse since the last time?"

"It's not my fault you always underdeveloped taste buds!" Eliott defends himself although he can't hold back the smile that takes over his face.

Sofiane takes a few steps forward, putting the pizza on the counter right as Eliott crosses the distance between them and pulls him into a tight hug. As soon as his friend starts hugging him back, he feels himself tearing up.

"I'm so sorry," he chokes down on a sob, clutching at the other boy's shirt like a lifeline. "I'm sorry Sof for shutting you out and not calling and not trying to make up with you when you came back and not-"

"It's okay!" Sofiane cuts him off, also sounding close to tears, his voice trembling a little. "I knew something was wrong, that you weren't doing so good and I let you shut me off. I didn't call either. I didn't do anything."

Eliott nods weakly, tightening his arms around his friend as they both take comfort and reassurance into each other's arms. It takes them a while but eventually, they pull back. There's tears and snot running down both of their faces while their eyes are red and swollen. Eliott pats the other boy's shoulder while Sofiane playfully ruffles his hair.

"Don't do that again, okay?" his friend asks, his eyes pleading him. "Don't cut me off. No matter what's the problem, you can always come to me, okay?"

"I promise," he assures him with a small smile which seems to be enough for now.

They let go of each other and Sofiane grins as he pulls out of his pocket a handful of ketchup bats. They both burst into laughter and before opening the box. Thankfully, no customer walks in while they're eating. His boss might be indulgent but Eliott doesn't want to test his patience's limits.

The conversation flows easily between them. Sofiane fills him in with what he did back in Australia and Morocco and things are going with Imane while Eliott tells him all that happened after he transferred school and how he got with Lucas.

"Time out!" Sofiane interrupts him, his eyes going wide. "So you gave that poor thing food poisoning with your cinnamon and fennel omelet and yet you two are still together today?"

"Say the guy who dated one of his crush's best friends!" he teases right back.

The other boy groans and crosses his arms over the counter and buries his face there.

"Don't remind me! That really wasn't my best moment."

Eliott laughs out loud and playfully pats his back.

"But you got with Imane at least. She forgave you for being a dumbass."

Sofiane nods and slowly lifts his head up, running his hand through his hair.

"And Lucas forgave you for making him sick so everything is good in the end," he adds with a smile.

Except that's not the end. The poni accident is probably the least of all but he takes one too many seconds to answer and his friend immediately sees through him.

"What else happened?" he asks with concern in his eyes.

It would be easy to lie and pretend everything is fine but he did promise just a few minutes to not cut Sofiane off anymore so he sighs and confesses everything. From the conversation he's had about cheating with the boys when they came back from the farm to the nightclub incident with Lola. He doesn't keep anything to himself and just lets his mouth go off without any filters.

Like with Dr. Dumas, he does feel a little lighter afterward. Sofiane looks slightly overwhelmed by the end of the story but he gives Eliott a reasuring smile.

"Woah," he lets out. "I mean, you've never been the kind to hold grudges but still. I'm surprised you forgave her just like that."

"I don't even know," he explains as he leans against the wall behind and crosses his arms over his chest, looking up to the ceiling. "I think I just didn't wanted her to feel too bad. Beside, I chose to drink. She didn't force me."

"That's not what I'm talking about," Sofiane tells him, shaking his head. "You got drunk and fought with the security guard, that may be on you but she knew your insecurities and used them against you to convince you. And that doesn't excuse what she said."

Eliott doesn't know what he's supposed to say and Sofiane seems to take it as a sign to continue.

"I know you always want to see the best in people, Eli," his friend tells him, laying a hand on his forearm. "But that doesn't oblige you to forgive everyone who has ever hurt you. Or you can forgive but not forget. Make it clear you don't have any resentment toward her but that you also can't completely see past what she did."

A moment passes and Sofiane gives him a reasuring smile.

"You aren't going around, using the mental illness excuse for every mistake you make. Shouldn't it be the same for her?"

Thankfully, the other boy immediately changes the subject to something else afterward and a few minutes later, while Eliott is bent over, wheezing as Sofiane keeps telling him how horrible his first time having sinner with Imane's parents went, that damn Friday night at the club becomes the last thing on his mind.

Eventually, the evening comes to an end and he has to close the videoclub for the night. Sofiane helps him clean all evidences from their dinner together and waits for him to be done putting away the cash done today and locking the door before hugging him. They wish each other good night and part ways, both of them going home.

Eliott is just reaching his apartment building when his phone buzzes twice in his pocket. He finds himself smiling when he sees the messages awaiting him and he quickly types out his answer.

He then turns off his phone for the night and walks inside before climbing up the stairs two at the time. He finds Lucas waiting for him in the living room, absently watching some cheesy romcom playing on TV. As soon as he sees Eliott, he smiles up at him and immediately turns off the TV before standing up. They meet halfway and his boyfriend wraps his arms tightly around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

"Hey," Eliott sleepily greets him, holding on to his waist.

"Hi," Lucas replies, pulling back a little so they're looking at each other.

He cups the older boy's cheeks, tenderly stroking them.

"I don't want to seem noisy," he starts as a blush spreads across his face, "but Sofiane was with Imane when you texted him so she called me to tell me. Not that she minded, she was actually pretty fucking happy you two finally spent some time together."

This time, it's Eliott's turn to blush as he lets out a nervous laugh.

"I'm happy too," Lucas quickly adds, giggling. "Very happy."

"It went pretty well," the older boy explains with a smile. "We talked a lot and I think we're good now."

"Great," his boyfriend replies.

Time seems to stand still for a second and then they're both leaning in, meeting into a kiss they find themselves melting in.

***

Eliott doesn't remember even being this nervous while he was waiting for his own bac results last year. He and Sofiane can't even walk on the school grounds so they're stuck pacing around in front of the entrance, anxiously waiting for Lucas, Imane and the others.

"You think there's a chance one of them might have failed?" Sofiane asks him after a moment.

And Eliott shrugs, not honestly sure of the answer he's supposed to give his friend.

"The last few weeks have been kind of rough on Daphné and Lucas but I'm not worried about them. Arthur had a whole of adjustment to get used to but him pretty sure he did alright. I don't see why Yann, Alexia or Imane wouldn't have passed their exams. Maybe Emma or Basile?"

"Maybe," the other boy agrees, nodding. "Let's just hope we're wrong about them."

Eliott can feel his nerves coming back so he pulls out of his pocket a package of cigarette and quickly slips one through his lips. He reaches for his lighter but he never gets to use it as Lucas as well as the whole grew walk out of the school, all smiling. Some are looking relieved while his boyfriend is just grinning like a kid on Christmas and Eliott knows already which one of the drawings he will have to give him. A quick look at Sofiane ia enough for him to see he understood too.

"We all passed!" Basile screams in joy as soon they walk through the gates.

Everyone erupts into loud cheering and clapping and through the ensuing chaos, Eliott wraps his arms around Lucas' waist, lifting him off the ground before he starts spinningnhim around.

"You did it!" he praises him, hugging him tightly. "You did it! I'm so fucking proud of you!"

His boyfriend laughs in elation but it doesn't last for long before he crashes his lips onto Eliott's, immediately slipping his tongue into his mouth. The older boy finds himself grinning as he deepens the kiss causing those around to start wolf whistling.

"I love you," he can't help but whisper after pulling back as they were running out of breath. "I love you so fucking much and I'm so proud of you!"

"I fucking love you too," Lucas replies, grinning widely.

A round of hugs starts but Eliott isn't about to give his boyfriend to anyone. He sets him back onto his feet but intertwines their hands to make sure no one tries to take him away from him. He takes off his backpack and opens it, reaching for the green envelope. He pulls it and hands it over proudly to his boyfriend.

"It's not much," he explains, blushing a little as Lucas takes it and opens it, "but I figured you would like it."

His boyfriend's features suddenly falls as he sees what's inside but then one of the softest smiles Eliott has ever seen stretches onto his face.

Not only there is the drawing he made of the raccoon throwing confetti at a freshly graduated hedgehog, but he also printed out the receipt for a reservation to this seafood restaurant he knows Lucas wanted to try.

"That's perfect," he says, looking back up to Eliott. "Thank you!"

"I'd do anything for you," the older boy answers as he grabs his boyfriend's free hand and puts it over his heart. "Anything! You deserve everything in this world, Lucas. And that's not much but one day, I promise I'll have the money to-"

Lucas cuts him off by wrapping an arm around Eliott's neck and pulling him into a deep kiss, earning themselves another round of cat calls and whistles from their friends.

***

***

The date goes on as perfectly as Eliott could have hoped. The food is excellent, the service is great and for the first time in a week, he even manages to completely forget about the recent events. He and Lucas trade their plates halfway through them so his boyfriend can try the linguini with shrimps while he gets to take a bite of Lucas' lobster. With the appetizers they took beforehand, escargots with garlic butter and cheese, they feel so full by the end of the main course they don't even bother taking a look at the dessert menu.

When the waitress comes with the check, Eliott doesn't let his boyfriend take a look at it and pays. She wishes them a good evening and goes on her way to take the order of the elderly couple at table next to them.

Sighing happily, Lucas reaches across the table for Eliott's hands and that's how they leave the restaurant, slowly making their way back to their apartment.

"Thank you for tonight," the younger boy tells him with a smile so wide his cheeks must hurt. "And for going overboard recently but you know you don't need to do this, right? We could have order some Chinese takeout and eat them on the couch while watching some American action movie and it would have been perfect for me."

"But not for me," Eliott admits, bringing his boyfriend's hands up to kiss the back of them. "You deserve the best and I know I haven't exactly been easy to love recently and I can't change the things I did but I-

"Wait!" Lucas interrupts him as he stops walking, looking confused. "Eliott, what are you talking about? Not easy to love? What's this all about?"

The older boy mentally curses himself for talking without thinking first and looks down to his feet, gently stroking his boyfriend's knuckles with his thumbs. This conversation was inevitable. It had to come up eventually. He had just hoped he would have more time beforehand though.

"Since we moved in together," he starts off slowly, "it hasn't been easy. I had an episode, then we went to the farm and when we came back, we had that conversation about cheating and I know it brought back some fears for you. Then the whole mess with Lola and the movie and the nightclub."

He stops and takes a deep breath before looking back up into Lucas' big blue eyes and resume his speech.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm so fucking sorry for what happened. Now that it's over, I look back and realizes I messed up. I fucked up big time and I know I wouldn't like myself much if the roles were reversed and yet you're still here and I'm terrified you might realize some day you could do so much better than him. Someone who doesn't make you go pick them up at the police station because they fought a bouncer in a nightclub."

Once he's done talking, he feels himself tetting slightly dizzy, like talking had absolutely drained him of all his energy. For a moment, Lucas' face remains unreadable and Eliott is terrified of what he's going to say but just like he's done many times before, he surprises the older boy.

"Is that why you've been weird all week?" he wonders with a little smile and despite the seriousness of the situation, Eliott can't help but snort at the mention of their old inside joke.

_We like weird, I think._

_Let me guess, you think it's weird._

_You're a weird guy._

_What would you have done with a weird guy in a tunnel with no lights?_

"Eliott," Lucas starts, gently squeezing his hands, "you're right, it hasn't been easy since January but it's not just on you. Me acting like an idiot with Arthur is on me and no one else. Me stressing myself out because of the bac has nothing to do with you."

"You're not about to blame yourself for Lola, aren't you?" he worries, feeling his concern grow. "Because I'm the one who-"

"Eliott!" his boyfriend cuts him off although there's not a single trace of anger on his face. "Let me finish please!"

Not knowing exactly what to do, the older boy nods weakly.

"What I was about to say is that yeah, that whole thing with Lola was fucked up and there's a lot of stuff I wish you could have done differently but I'll never hold any of it against you. I thought you knew that. I'm over it."

Eliott shakes his head as he feels himself tearing up.

"Well, I'm not!" he states, his voice trembling. "Remember when I told you I felt like whenever I had to make choice, there was two paths I could take?"

Lucas nods and squeezes his hand.

"I feel like for the past six months all I've done was take the wrong one and I feel like each turn has been taking me a little further away from you. And I hate it. I hate the distance this whole mess put between us and I hate knowing it's my fault, that I've done exactly what I told you I was afraid of! I hurt you and I hate myself for it!"

That suddenly becomes too much for his boyfriend who wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him into a tight hug and Eliott can't do anything but hug him back, burying his face into the crook of Lucas' neck.

"Minute by minute, you remember?" the younger boy whispers, running his fingers through his hair, massaging the scalp. "And right now, in this very minute, I'm telling you you're already forgiven and that I love you. I love you so much, Eliott."

"I love you too," he tells him quietly before closing his eyes and tightening his arms around Lucas.

It takes them a lot longer than it usually does to get home but neither of them is in any hurry. They slowly strips off until they're both wearing only their boxers and then they slip underneath the covers, their legs tangled up as they keep holding each other close.

There's more left to be said about this as Eliott still can't forgive himself the same way his boyfriend seems to have done but he does manage to fall asleep without having his fears nagging him into the back of his mind for the first time in a week.

***

Thursday and Friday go by in the blink of an eye as neither of them is working but before he knows it, it's Saturday morning which means Lucas, his beloved hedgehog is turning 18 and there's only one way to celebrate this properly.

Grinning to himself, Eliott slowly pushes down the covers and he feels a slight shiver going down his spine as goosebumps appear all over his arms. It's colder than he expected but thankfully, his plan will warm up the room soon enough.

As they slept in late, very, very late, Lucas is still asleep, snores coming out of his mouth. The older boy carefully takes off his boyfriend's underwear, throwing them aside. Eliott can feel himself drooling at the sight so he positions himself properly in between his boyfriend's legs and leans down, taking the head into his mouth. He can feel Lucas' cock twitch at the sudden attention and he can't resist teasing the slit with his tongue before taking it deeper into his mouth. His boyfriend starta whimpering above him and there's not a doubt in Eliott's mind he's slowly waking up. He's prove right a few seconds when the head of Lucas' cock hits the back of his throat and suddenly, there's two hands in his hair, pulling at the wild strands.

"Fuck, Eliott!" his boyfriend moans sounding like he's the one who just had a dick inside his mouth and Eliott really got to think of something else or he'll end up coming without even have touched himself.

He groans in appreciation and keeps on sucking Lucas off, running his tongue on the underside of his erection.

"Shit! Eliott! Fuck!" he swears loudly, not making any sense. "So fucking good!"

That's all the encouragement Eliott needs to suck him even more enthusiastically. He slips his arms around Lucas' waist until his hands are sprawled over his asscheeks and tries to pull him even deeper into his mouth. His boyfriend lets out a strangled moan as his back arches off the bed. It doesn't take him much more afterward before he's coming, spilling himself into Eliott's awaiting mouth. The older boy swallows it all before pulling off, a string of saliva connecting his lips to the head of Lucas' cock.

"Happy birthday, my love," he wishes his boyfriend with a smirk as he crawls up his bare body before kissing him.

He knows Lucas must be tasting him this way but he doesn't seem bothered at all as he threads his fingers through Eliott's hair, deepening the kiss. A few seconds later, it's Eliott's turn to gasp loudly as he feels his boyfriend grabbing his erection. This seems to satisfy Lucas as he smirks against his lips and rolls them over so he's now straddling Eliott.

"Please!" he begs shamelessly as he thrusts up, causing the younger boy to chuckle.

"Don't worry," he says in a promising tone as he reaches for the lube into the drawer of the nightstand. "It might be my birthday but that doesn't mean I'll neglect you."


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the feedback you've been giving me for this fic 🥺❤ it won't as long as you're used to from me but the end is not here yet 🤭 However, I've also started planning my Eliott season 😉 I hope you guys will be there for the ride once it comes out
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter and don't forget to tell me what you think 🥰
> 
> Also, for those who were interested into my Eliott season, I have a question for you. Should I make it as a season 6 so following Arthur's season or more as season 5 so not taking into account Arthur's season?🤔

After spending the day in bed, doing nothing but fuck like bunnies in mating season, neither of them are in the mood to go out that evening but they know the whole grew is waiting for them in some nightclub to celebrate Lucas' birthday.

"We have to go," Eliott says although he's making no effort to get out of bed.

Lucas whines and shakes his head, tightening the arms around his boyfriend's waist as he buries his face into the crook of his neck.

"Want to stay here with you."

The older boy chuckles and runs his fingers through his boyfriend's hair before kissing his forehead.

"All of your friends are going to be there," he tries to remind him but suddenly, Lucas goes still and slowly looks up to him.

"Why do you always call them my friends?" he asks Eliott, frowning. "They're yours too."

Realization flashes through his eyes as he sits up, looking serious out of sudden.

"Eliott, you know they're your friends too, right?"

But Eliott can't bring himself to lie to him so he simply gives him a little smile and sits up.

"We're going to be late," he says, trying to change the subject. "Let's go!"

Lucas doesn't argue but as they get dressed for the night, Eliott can feel him staring at him the entire time. He doesn't want another one of those conversations to taint today. Today is supposed to be a happy day of celebration for his boyfriend. He shouldn't spend any minute of it worrying about Eliott just because he's got trouble making friends.

When they're ready, they get out of their apartment and start making their way to the club. They make small chat, wondering if the looks they've been noticing between Yann and Emma mean anything, if the kiss Alexia and Arthur shared at the screening of Lux & Obscurus meant anything or if it was just in the spur of the moment. 

"I mean," Lucas tells him with a knowing smile, "they've been spending the last few weeks studying together and he clearly still loves her so in the end, it's more about whether or not she can forgive him."

"Do you think she can?" Eliott wonders, squeezing his boyfriend's hand as they walk down the street leading to the club. 

The younger boy shrugs a little nonchalantly.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens."

After a few steps, Lucas sighs happily and lets go of Eliott's hand only to wrap his arms around him, using his grip to pull himself to his boyfriend who puts his own arm.around Lucas' shoulders. 

"I love you," he whispers, looking up into the older boy's eyes who can't help but smile down at him.

"I love you too," he quietly says, just loud enough for him to hear. "So much, Lucas. You have no idea." 

His boyfriend lets out a soft giggle before he stops walking and pulls him into a gentle kiss Eliott finds himself melting into. He tightens the arm around his shoulder and cups his face with his free hand, tenderly stroking his cheek. 

They can feel people walking around them as they're blocking the sidewalk, telling them to go do that somewhere else but they just keep gently kissing with not a single care for the world around.

Eventually though, Lucas pulls back just a little and presses his forehead on Eliott's as he brushes their noses together.

"No matter what's going on inside your head right now," he starts off, staring right into his boyfriend's eyes, "no matter what your brain is telling you, we'll deal with it together, okay? Like a team, alright? You know what they say in wedding vows? For better and for worse. That's you and me."

Every time Eliott starts to feel like it's impossible to love Lucas any more than he already does, his boyfriend does himself an honor to prove him wrong. He can't stop himself from smiling and letting out a watery laugh as he tries to pull him back into another kiss but just as their lips brush together, some loud whistles followed by cheering and clapping startle them. They turn around and find themselves surrounded by the grew who each take a turn at hugging them both and wishing Lucas an happy birthday.

"Fuck!" Basile swears, laughing as he pats Lucas on the shoulder. "Now we know for sure what you two have been up to today!"

Eliott follows the boy's eyes to Lucas' neck and he lets out a embarrassed laugh right as his boyfriend slaps a hand over the bruised skin. If only everyone could see the other ones they have left on each other's body, they would probably never hear the end of it.

"Woah!" Emma says, looking impressed. "Possessive much?"

Blushing, the older boy shrugs a little but smile nonetheless. He's got to admit he did quite a number there. Three dark spots cover the right side of his boyfriend's throat and beside a turtleneck, nothing could have hidden them but considering they're in July, a turtleneck would have seemed suspicious. 

"Consider a tattoo next time," Arthur teases with a playful smirk. "Something like property of Eliott Demaury. It lasts longer."

Eliott shares a look with Lucas and both of their faces break into a large grin.

"I'll think about it," his boyfriend replies as he wraps an arm around Eliott's neck and pulls him into a kiss.

***

Since he's met the boys, they have been nothing but kind to Eliott. They've always treated him like a member of the gang rather than just Lucas' boyfriend, they always invite him when they go out. It's not their fault he usually declines their offers. It's never been. Just like with Sofiane or Idriss, he's just scared. Terrified. A fear that runs deep to his bones. 

He's sure Lucas hasn't told them the conversation they had earlier but he must have hinted at it as they've been doing absolutely everything they could tonight to make him feel part of the gang. Beside making customized shirts, he doubts there's actually anything more they could possibly do. 

But he can also safely say he hasn't had that much fun in a while. It has nothing to do with the urbex parties. He's not Otteli, urbex celebrity here. Right now, he's just Eliott, a guy celebrating his boyfriend's birthday with his-no, their friends.

He's on the dancefloor with the girls as well as Sofiane, Mika and Camille, making absolute fools of themselves as they bounce around to the bass blasting through the speakers. He knows Lucas, Yann, Basile and Arthur have disappeared to pay the birthday boy a round of shots. Eliott is glad they're having fun though. It's not because he can't drink that anyone else should hold back though. Imane isn't drinking though and neither is Camille who's the designated driver but that's their own choices, they aren't doing this for him.

The song ends and the girls giggle as they make their way to the bathroom, leaving the boys by themselves. As it doesn't seem like Lucas is coming back yet, Eliott decides to give in to his nicotine craving. He pulls Sofiane closer so he can hear him over the music playing.

"I'm going out for a smoke!"

His friend nods and gives him a thumbs up so Eliott pats his shoulder and walks through the crowd until he reaches the back door and steps outside.

It's colder than he had expected and he feels himself shiver. He'll make this quick so he can go back inside and hopefully find some warmth in Lucas' arms. Maybe they'll end the night the exact same way they started the day.

He takes a cigarette out of his pocket and slips it between his lips before lighting it up. He might not have stopped entirely but he smokes a lot less than before which he's proud of himself for. It's progress. Baby steps.

"You've got fire?" someone suddenly asks him and he nearly jumps out of his own skin, startled.

He looks up from where he has been staring at the ground and finds Yann standing beside him, his cigarette ready. He gives the other boy a nod and hands him his lighter. 

The silence is not uncomfortable or awkward but it hangs heavy around them, both aware of the many things left unsaid and after a minute, it gets too much for Eliott who decides he might as well go for it. He's already crossed Sofiane's name off the list of things he needed to fix. He might have started to talk with Lucas but he's still not satisfied yet with it but maybe he can work out some things with Yann tonight. 

"Why don't you hate me?" 

He doesn't mean for it to sound so defensive but the words are out before he can stop them. However, Yann doesn't seem to be taking it like an attack. If anything, he just looks surprised.

"And why would I hate you?" he wonders, frowning. 

Eliott shrugs nonchalantly 

"I mean, you weren't exactly my favorite person when I first heard about you last year. I even told Lucas you didn't know what you were missing but then I learned the whole story and I get it now. Don't you remember, brother-in-law?"

They both chuckle at the nickname and Eliott does remember that Instagram picture.

"What about recently though?" he can't resist but ask.

But this only seems to make Yann even more confused.

"What about it? You two went through some hard times, yeah, but judging by Lucas' neck, you two have worked through your problems so if you're both happy now, then I'm happy too. As simple as that."

He then gives Eliott a smile and playfully nudges his shoulder.

"Besides, we're friends. And friends are not meant to hate each other."

"Friends?" the older boy repeats, feeling that little spark of hope bubbling up in his chest.

"Well, yeah!" Yann tells him as if it was obvious. "I know there's a reason why you always decline our offers to hang out but unless it's because you don't like us, you'll realize soon enough we can be really, really stubborn when we put our mind to it."

He doesn't want to elaborate but if he says nothing, Yann might actually think he doesn't like them.

"I'm just scared," he ends up admitting, sighing as he throws his cigarette butt to his feet and stomps on it. "I'm scared that I'm going to lose you guys the day Lucas will finally realize he could be doing so much better than me. I've already lost all of my friends at once and I don't want the same thing to happen again."

Yann remains silent, staring at Eliott who shakes his head and decides to go back inside. He never should have said. He never wanted anyone's pity, even less some coming from his boyfriend's best friend. However, before he can make a move, Yann lets out a chuckle.

"You and Lucas really are meant for each other," he states with a smile as he takes another puff from his cigarette.

"What do you mean?" the older boy asks, not exactly sure of how to take the comment.

"You both are the world's biggest idiots! Even more than Baz!"

Eliott's confusion must still show on his face as Yann decides to clarify.

"You love Lucas, right?"

"More than you can imagine," Eliott answers in a heartbeat.

"Good because he feels exactly the same," the other boy reassures him with a smile. "And yet you're both so fucking afraid the other is going to leave! I don't want to sound cheesy but I'm pretty sure you two, you were like destined to be together!"

Destiny. That's a possibility Eliott likes a lot although he's still not quite sure of whether or not he and Lucas are soulmates has anything to do with the way he has tried to distance himself from the gang.

"Seriously bro, I know you both have your issues and insecurities but don't you think it's about time you start having faith in your relationship? Weren't you two speaking of getting married and buying a van and going to Kathmandu?"

The words hit Eliott like a freight train which must please Yann as his features soften as he wraps an arm around his shoulder, 

"Lucas is in for the long run, dude. So unless you're planning to be the one to break up, get through your head that me and the boys are going to be around for a long time so you better get used to us already."

Eliott feels himself tearing up a little and he takes a moment to thank his lucky star up there before Yann pulls him into a hug.

"Thank you," he whispers, squeezing the other boy. "I think I needed to hear that."

"Anytime!" Yann tells him, patting his shoulder before standing back. "Now we better get back in because I know one needy hedgehog who will-"

But he's interrupted when Eliott's phone starts buzzing in his pockets with several upcoming text messages. He takes a look at it and can't stop himself from grinning when he sees it.

"Let's go," is all he says as he and Yann walk back inside still holding each other.

They only let go when they find Lucas and the rest of their friends. Lucas who's now looking actually drunk rather than just slightly buzzing throws himself into Eliott's arms as soon as he sees him, making him stumble a few steps back from the force of the impact. The others burst into laughter at how needy Lucas is being and the older boy just smiles and hugs his boyfriend tightly.

***

Eliott really should have known better than to believe his conversation last Saturday with Yann would be enough, that from now on, he would officially be part of the gang. After all, those are the guys who literally screamed when Lucas told them they were dating, those who wore those giant ears to make Arthur feel better about losing his hearing. They always go overboard but he loves them for it.

It was meant to be a quiet Friday evening. It doesn't often happen but tonight, Lucas is working so Eliott had texted Sofiane, wondering if he was free to hang out but he already had plans with Imane. However, they planned to see each other next week so it was just a raincheck. With nothing else to do, Eliott had decided to watch a movie but fate seemed to have other plans.

He's still debating on what to watch when someone knocks on the door. It's early so it can't be Lucas yet. Curious, he puts away the pile of DVD's he was going through and stands up to go answer. The door is barely open when Yann, Basile and Arthur barge inside the apartment, each of them hugging him before he can even comprehend what's going on.

"Hey," he greets them, slightly surprised when he sees what they all brought with them. "Lucas isn't done working but you can wait for-"

"We know that," Arthur cuts him off, grinning, teasingly patting his cheek. "But we're not here for him."

"We're here for you!" Basile excitedly declares as they let themselves in. "We never had a game night before-"

"-so we figured it was time!" Yann finishes for him, proudly showing the console in his hands.

And Eliott really, really loves them. Without waiting for him, they start settling in for the night, plugging in the console while Eliott gets some snacks out. He pours some chips and some pretzels into large bowls he puts on the coffee table before taking the beer Arthur is handing him. They all clink the cans together before taking a sip and Eliott feels himself smiling. 

They sit down on the couch and Yann hands them the controllers while Basile starts the game.

"We're going to go easy on you since it's your first time," he tells Eliott with a reassuring smile.

The older boy is tempted to tell them he used to play all the time with Idriss and Sofiane back then but he decides otherwise. This could be interesting so he thanks them and get set for the first race. It takes not even a full minute for the boys to realize he fooled them all.

"Piece of shit!" Arthur cries out as he slaps his shoulder.

"Fuck you!" Yann adds as he fails to dodge the red shell Eliott just threw his way. 

Eliott chuckles proudly as he bypasses Basile through a shortcut, earning the first place with still a whole lap left to play. And another minute later, when he wins the first race with the boys calling him a cheater and swearing to get their revenge next time, he can't help but regret not allowing himself this before. He could have been having fun like that for over a year but he didn't because he let his fear control him. Not anymore though.

That's how Lucas finds them all when he gets back home a few hours later. He looks slightly surprised at the scene awaiting him but he quickly gets over the initial shock and he gtins widely as Eliott stands up from his place on the couch, pausing the game which earns him another wave of uproar from the boys, but he mutes their complains as he meets his boyfriend halfway in the living room. He wraps his arms around the younger boy's waist and immediately pulls him into a kiss, quickly slipping his tongue inside his mouth. Lucas seems surprised but he gets over it and tangles his hands through Eliott's hair, pulling at the strands as he deepens the kiss. 

***

As usual, the boys ended up leaving a mess behind him but unlike usual, Eliott doesn't even have it in him to tease Lucas about it. They both put everything away and decide to keep the dishes for the next day. Once their apartment no longer looks like a frat house with the empty beer cans all over the place, Lucas goes to the bathroom while Eliott decides to open the window to let some air in and hopefully get rid of the scent of smoke.

That's when he notices the sketchbook on the kitchen table. He knows exactly which one it is and what's written on the last page. Smiling to himself, he walks over and opens it to the list he's written not so long ago. Just two weeks ago, it had seemed like such a heavy task to do but today, he feels lighter, happier now that he started working on it so he reaches for a pen and strikes out some of the things.

● Lucas  
~~● Myself~~  
~~● Sofiane~~  
● Idriss  
~~● The Gang~~  
~~-Yann~~  
~~-Arthur~~  
~~-Basile~~  
● Urbex  
● Lola  
● La mif

He doesn't want to strike out Lucas' name just yet as he doesn't feel like he deserves to be forgiven yet. He feels proud when he notices what he managed to fix already. His boyfriend, urbex and Idriss are probably the hardest things left. He's not worried about Lola and la mif.

Remembering his appointment the next day, he rips out the sheet of paper and folds it before putting it inside his pocket. He needs to show this to Dr. Dumas tomorrow.

He's just starting to get worried about how long has Lucas been in the bathroom for when he suddenly feels two arms sneaking around his waist and intertwines his hands with those now resting over his stomach.

"You had fun tonight?" Lucas wonders as he presses a kiss to his neck before resting his head on the older boy's shoulder blade.

"I did," he answers, nodding. "It was really nice."

"Good!" his boyfriend agrees and Eliott can almost hear his smile. "Because they'll probably be back sooner than you think for a revenge."

Eliott chuckles and leans back into Lucas' embrace, closing his eyes. This is nice. This is more than nice actually. He could get used to it but before he can voice his thoughts, he feels one of Lucas' hands sneaking down his chest until he's cupping Eliott's cock through the fabric of his jeans which makes him moan loudly.

"You saw Basile's post?" the younger boy innocently wonders as if Eliott's cock wasn't twitching up in the palm of his hand right now. "Did you?"

Not trusting his voice to speak, Eliott nods and bites down on his lip to keep himself from begging.

"Well I agree with Yann! You deserve a reward for beating them all!"

Without any more warning, he turns Eliott around, so they're face to face before backing him up against the table and drops down to his knees, hastily pulling down the older boy's jeans and underwear. 

Eliott finishes embarrassingly quickly and isn't ashamed to whimper as Lucas keeps sucking him through it, swallowing everything.

"I don't need a cheerleader skirt to rile you up after all," he teases as he looks up to Eliott from underneath his lashes, looking absolutely sinful with his swollen lips, his flushed cheeks and his lust blown eyes.

The older boy smirks as he pushes back a wild strand of hair off his boyfriend's face and runs his thumb over Lucas' bottom lip.

"You would look hot with a skirt," he says without thinking.

Lucas' smile widens as he stands up abruptly, crushing his lips against Eliott who tastes himself on his boyfriend's tongue. Without breaking the kiss, he grabs the back of Lucas' thighs and lifts him up, making the younger boy instinctively wrap his legs around Eliott's waist.

"But I know you look even hotter when you're not wearing anything," he says in between two kisses as he starts making his way to their bedroom, Lucas still hanging off him.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 already 😊❤ this fic probably won't be more than 10 chapters long but don't worry, I won't be gone for too long afterward as I can officially tell you an Eliott's season is coming your way 🥰 yeah, I've been debating about it but after thinking it through, I can now say I've taken a decision. It will take place after Arthur's season and replace Lola's 😊 she will vaguely be mentioned but won't appear. I still have some planning to do and I can't give you a release date but I write quickly when I'm inspired 😅
> 
> So if there's something you would like to see in his season, it's now or never ☺
> 
> Enough rambling for tonight, now please enjoy this chapter and don't forget to tell me what you think 😊❤

The appointment with Dr. Dumas goes on well. He seems proud of the progress Eliott has done in such little time. He also questions him about what he's planning to do next.

"I don't know," he admits, shrugging. "Lucas may say he's forgiven me already but I don't feel like I deserve it yet. I want to do something special, like a grand gesture to show him I love him."

"Well," Dr. Dumas starts with a smile, "from what I've seen you don't seem to be lacking imagination so you'll find something soon. However, you shouldn't forget either that to forgive you or not is Lucas' choice and he has made it already. Beside, from what you told me about him, he doesn't seem to be the kind of person who actually needs something grandiose. Of course, you know him better than I do but don't forget this should be for him you're doing this."

Then the session ends and Eliott leaves, Dr. Dumas' words playing over and over again in his mind. For him. For Lucas. Something significant but that wouldn't be going overboard. His mind briefly drifts back to the boathouse but he chases that idea as quickly as it had came. No. No need to bring back some painful memories. They've both had enough of this recently. No. Something else. Something more like them.

A fancy restaurant where they would be looked down upon by the waiters and the other customers if they went there wearing jeans is not really their scene. And neither is a love declaration at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Too many people there all the time anyway. They've actually laughed the few times they've been there since they got together at the tourists rushing there as if it was the most romantic place in Paris. They have no idea of how wrong they are.

True romance is kissing under the rain at an abandoned railway. It's cuddling under a heavy blanket on the roof of their building as the sun sets over the city. It's spending a Saturday morning rolling around in bed while doing nothing but kiss as they speak of parallel universes and destiny. It's doodling a little hedgehog and a raccoon together and leaving it on the pillow as he got to go to work. It's the intimacy, the trust, it's about sharing your most vulnerable side to someone.

That's when an idea hits him so hard he actually stops walking. Sharing. Sharing something he never wanted to hide from Lucas in the first place. It's risky though as it can either turn out really well or really bad too. He needs to find the right words. He needs to phrase his thoughts correctly or else he will only make things worse. But it can work. He doesn't want to wait though.

Suddenly grinning like a madman, he checks the time on his phone. He still got time before Lucas' shift finishes though, just enough to prepare what they need and pick up his boyfriend at the coffee shop. He takes a deep breath and starts sprinting down the street toward their apartment. He nearly runs right into someone more than once and gets a few insults thrown at him to tell him to watch where he's going and he yells some apologies over his shoulder, never looking back though.

He doesn't stop until he's finally at their apartment, absolutely out of breath and his legs aching but he's okay. He can still make it in time. He grabs his backpack where he threw it in a corner of their bedroom when he came back from his last shift at the videoclub and throws inside a change of clothes for Lucas, some cans of paint as well as his camera. If today turns out to be as great as he hopes it will, he wants to immortalize some moments of it. He briefly hesitates but also folds one of the blanket spread on the couch and puts in inside his bag.

He double checks to make sure he's got his keys, his phone as well as his wallet before walking out, locking the door behind him. He doesn't run on his way to the coffee shop but he does walk a little faster than he usually does. He makes it right on time.

The place is empty by the time Eliott gets there, making him smile. No need to worry about embarrassing his boyfriend in front of customers then. Lucas is still at the countertop but he's got his back turned to the entrance so the older boy sneaks his way up to the cash register and clears his throat, startling Lucas who turns around with a smile on his lips which only widens when he sees him.

"Hey you!" he happily greets him, already leaning over the counter for a kiss.

Eliott chuckles but can't resist him so he meets him halfway in, cupping his cheeks.

"Hi," he greets him back, grinning.

"How was it?" Lucas asks him, brushing their noses together. "I'm done in a few minutes so if you don't mind waiting for me."

"Actually, I wanted to get something."

This seems to get his boyfriend's curiosity as his eyes grow wide for a second before he playfully shakes his head.

"Sure!" he tells Eliott. "What do you want? It's on the house by the way!"

The older boy pretends to think for a second before answering.

"I was thinking of a date with my incredible, wonderful, gorgeous boyfriend whom I love very, very much," he teases, smirking. "On the go of course."

"Incredible?" Lucas repeats, now smirking too. "Wonderful? Gorgeous? You'll have to introduce him to me!"

"You might know him already. Short, spiky hair like a hedgehog, big blue eyes like the sky, amazing kisser, even better in bed. You should see that thing he does with his tongue sometimes, you-"

But he doesn't get to finish his sentence as Lucas, now blushing cuts him off by pulling him into another kiss. Eliott chuckles against his lips but eagerly kisses him back, pouring out all of his love into the kiss which sadly ends way too soon when the bell above the door rings as a customer walks in.

Eliott steps aside, letting the old man order a black coffee Lucas quickly makes him. The man pays for it and walks out, leaving them alone once more but it's now five which means his boyfriend's shift is over.

"Can we go home first though?" Lucas asks him, pouting a little. "I want to change."

But the older boy chuckles and shakes his head, nearly bursting into laughter as Lucas' face falls at his answer but he doesn't let it hang for too long before reaching into his backpack for the clothes. He hands them over to his boyfriend who thanks him with another kiss before walking into the backstore. Another employee comes out, giving Eliott a disinterested look before starting to wash some mugs into a sink.

Thankfully, Lucas changes quickly, not giving Eliott time to second doubts himself. He walks out of the backstore, smiling knowingly at the older boy before going around the counter and reaching for Eliott's hand, intertwining their fingers together. He wishes a good evening to his coworker who barely looks up to them and they leave.

"Did you do it on purpose?" Lucas asks him as soon as they're out.

Eliott's confusion must show as his boyfriend chuckles before looking down to what he's wearing. A grey t-shirt with black jeans. They're Eliott's clothes.

"A little," he admits, grinning shamelessly. "Not my fault you look good in them."

"I thought I was looking better wearing nothing," Lucas teases as he presses a kiss on the corners of the older boy's lips.

Eliott groans and buries his face into Lucas' neck.

"Don't say that," he says, his voice muffled by the fabric of his boyfriend's shirt. "Or else we'll never go out tonight."

The younger boy chuckles and threads his free hand through Eliott's hair, pulling slightly at him to make him look back up to him.

"And what do you have in mind exactly?"

But Eliott is not about to spoil his surprise though. He straightens his back and smiles mischievously at his boyfriend.

"You'll have to wait and see!"

***

"That's not you have planned for tonight!" Lucas tells him with a grin.

Eliott only shrugs while smirking so his boyfriend reaches over the table and steals some fries from the older boy before shoving them into his mouth.

"Hey!" Eliott tries to protest "You've got some so take them!"

"Better when stolen!" Lucas replies through a mouthful.

The older boy shakes his head and sinks deeper into his side of the booth. It's true that the cheap restaurant he brought them to for dinner isn't what he truly has in kind for tonight but the food is good and it's not like they can go right away to their true destination already. He needs it to be night outside.

"If I tell you it won't be a surprise," he points out as he steals one of Lucas' sweet and sour sauce in retaliation for his earlier theft before dipping his last chicken nugget in.

"Not fair," his boyfriend pouts down as he takes a sip of his soda.

The childish pout is almost too cute to resist but judging by the sun setting in the horizon, Eliott won't have to for that much longer. He smiles and reaches for a napkin, whipping his hands with it before standing up. He takes his fries and extends his free one to Lucas.

"Come on," he tells him, grinning. "Let's go now! It's nearly time!"

"Time?" Lucas wonders, standing up too. "For what?"

"You'll see," he teases, raising an eyebrow.

His boyfriend's smile widens and intertwines his fingers with Eliott's, squeezing his hand as they start making their way out of the restaurant and down the street. Together, they quickly finish what's left of the fries and they throw the now empty carton into a trashcan.

As they keep walking, getting further and further away, Eliott can tell Lucas is growing more confused. He hasn't stopped questioning him since they left the restaurant but the older boy hasn't answered any of his questions yet. However, while his boyfriend may be curious as of where they're going, Eliott feels his nerves coming back. He can't be sure of how will Lucas react to his surprise but it's late to turn back around now.

He knows exactly when his boyfriend realize exactly where they are as he freezes dead in his steps and his eyes grow wide, like he did when Eliott first brought him to the Petite Ceinture.

"Is that?" he wonders, not taking his eyes off the building in front of them.

"Yeah," he replies, squeezing his hand. "It is."

The house he filmed Lux & Obscurus at. He had discovered it during one of his urbex sessions earlier this year and he had instantly imagined his movie taking place there. It was supposed to be him and Lucas though.

"Lucas," he starts off before taking a deep breath and moving so he's standing in front of him rather than beside, "here, I should have spent one of the best nights of my life, making my dream come true with you by my side but that's not what happened."

His boyfriend swallows so Eliott reaches for his other hand and thankfully, the other boy lets him.

"I did made my dream come true but you weren't there and neither were any of our friends. Someone else read the words I had written for you and although it allowed them to end up together, this was meant to be mine and yours moment. Not anyone else's."

"Eliott," Lucas says although his voice sounds strained and there's tears welling up in his eyes.

"I don't want you to go because if you're not here, then it's not worth it. I've been alone for years and I thought it was for the best but it's not. Because we barely know each other but I feel like I've been waiting for you my whole life. Because I love you. Because I don't want to be scared anymore and I don't want to wait. Because life is now."

Time seems to stand still for a second but then Lucas takes a step forward and Eliott takes one too and they meet halfway. The younger boy wraps his arms around his waist as Eliott cups his cheeks, deepening the kiss. Relief and joy flood through his veins, filling him up with something he felt only a few times before, all of those times Lucas was in his arms.

His boyfriend runs his tongue on Eliott's lips and he immediately parts them, letting it inside his mouth. He can feel tears of joy running down his cheeks but he would rather be damned than to stop kissing Lucas.

However, a moment later, thunder rumbles nearby, startling both of them, making them jump apart right as rain starts pouring down over them and he can't help but giggle hysterically, looking up to the night sky above.

"It wasn't supposed to rain tonight!" he states, grinning so widely his cheeks are starting to hurt.

"How do you always do that?" Lucas questions him, laughing too as he pulls Eliott even closer. "Did you made a deal with the devil or something?"

Today and over a year ago at the Petite Ceinture. Exactly when he needed rain. Still giggling, he silently thanks the universe for it.

"I have a lucky star," he replies as he looks back down to his boyfriend who raises himself on his tiptoes before pulling him into another kiss.

Without pulling away from each other, they manage to make their way into the house. They close the door right on time as the wind picks up and the rain worsens judging by the way they can hear it hit the roof above their head.

Eventuay though, they've got no choice but pull back as they're running out of breath. Eliott opens his eyes, suddenly remembering why he had brought so many candles the last time he had been here. It's nearly pitch black inside but even through the almost complete darkness, he can still make out his boyfriend's features.

"You're scared?" he can't help but ask, his thumbs still stroking the younger boy's cheeks.

Lucas' smile grows as he shakes his head.

"Not scared," he says, "but I would love you even more if you had some light on you though.

Eliott chuckles, nodding before he presses one more soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

"I can't pass this opportunity, can't I?" he teases, grinning widely.

Guided by the flashlight of Lucas' phone, the older boy finds the candles he had left the night of the shooting and lights them up before scattering them around the room.

"Better?" he wonders with a gentle smile as he looks back to Lucas who nods and wraps his arms around Eliott's neck.

"Much!"

They spread the blanket Eliott brought with him on the couch and sit down, making themselves comfortable. Lucas ends up half sitting over the older boy's lap, their legs tangled up and their foreheads pressed together as they breath in deeply, enjoying the moment.

"It's a nice place," his boyfriend says after a few minutes. "You found it while urbexing?"

Eliott sighs and nods, tightening his arms around Lucas' waist. Time for cross another thing off his list.

"I never wanted to hide this from you," he admits, mentally scolding himself for how little his voice sounds.

"Why did you lie then?"

But there's no anger or resentment in his tone. Only a bit of worry and sadness.

"I was scared," he whispers, suddenly unable to look into Lucas' eyes. "I was scared you would think I was having an episode or something if I told you about urbex."

But he immediately regrets the way he said as his boyfriend's bottom lip starts trembling a little.

"Did I-" he starts before shaking his head and clearing his throat. "Did I ever made you feel this way? Because if I did, then I'm so sorry, Eliott! I never meant to make you feel like you needed to hide things from me. I'm just scared that one day I'll end up becoming like Lucille and I-"

"What?" he abruptly cuts his boyfriend off, looking up so quickly he briefly fears he might have pulled something. "Becoming like Lucille? Lucas, you could never be like her! Never, okay?"

He stops and takes a deep breath, pulling his boyfriend even closer.

"We all have our insecurities but this one's on me. After spending so long hiding things from her because I knew what she was going to say, I guess I got scared of ruining what you and I had so I lied to you. But I was wrong. I should have trusted you, I should have known you weren't like her at all."

Tears are now welling up in Lucas' eyes but Eliott can feel himself tearing up too. They should have had this conversation a long time ago.

"Just like I never should have said those things when we came from the farm," he continues, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Guilt suddenly flashes across his boyfriend's face and he tenses in Eliott's arms.

"I know what I said that day hurt you. Even though you never said anything, I know I hurt you."

Lucas lets out a humorless laugh and shrugs.

"I guess I'm just not as over my abandonment issues as I thought I was."

"Don't blame yourself for this, please," he nearly begs the younger boy, brushing their noses together. "But know this. You're it for me, Lucas. You're the one, my soul mate, my destiny. I know there's no one else I would rather spend my life with than you, okay? And I love you so fucking much and I promise you that from now on, I'll try to do better."

"I love you too," Lucas says as the corners of his lips finally twitch up into a smile. "I'm so in love with you too and I'll try to do better too. I'm going to work to try to get over my abandonment issues and everything but we will do this together."

"Together!" Eliott repeats after him like a vow before pressing his lips onto his boyfriend's.

And although they might have been kissing not even half an hour ago, this feels like their first kiss in a while. For the first time in weeks, there's nothing standing in between them. No secrets, no lies, no fears. Just the two of them.

As they keep kissing, Lucas moves so he's properly straddling Eliott's lap, pulling slightly at his hair as he deepens the kiss. The older boy can feel himself hardening in his underwear and he slowly rolls them so he's now hovering over Lucas who's laying on his back.

"Want you," his boyfriend whispers against his lips, looking absolutely sinful with his flushed cheeks and lust blown eyes. "Want you inside me!"

Eliott's growing erection twitches and he moans as he buries his face into Lucas' neck.

"Don't say that," he groans all while slipping his hands underneath the younger boy's shirt, stroking his waist. "I don't have what we need."

"You don't have any lube left?" Lucas wonders as he starts nibbling at Eliott's earlobe.

He does have some left. He started keeping a small bottle in his backpack after the first time they've fooled around in the videoclub's basement but they've never done more there than handjobs as well as blowjobs.

"I don't have a condom," he clarifies as he buries his hands through Lucas' hair.

This makes his boyfriend smirk as he pulls back before brushing his nose against Eliott's.

"We don't need one," the younger boy tells, making Eliott tense. "We got tested, remember?"

They did. Right after they had moved in together. They had gotten the results a few days later but they had agreed they wanted their first time doing it bare to be special. Then, life had gotten in the way and they had never done it.

"You're sure?" the older boy asks. "It's not what we had in mind and it's not as romantic-"

But Lucas cuts him off with a surprisingly sweet kiss considering the position they're in.

"I'm sure!" he reassures him with a smile. "This, right here, this is perfect."

Then, he reaches for Eliott's hand and places it over his own crotch, allowing him to feel how hard Lucas already is too.

"I want you inside me, please," he asks again and when has Eliott ever been able to say no to him.

The next minutes are spent exploring each other's body with their lips, tongue and fingers. Clothes are taken off and words of praise are whispered in this little bubble of love and safety. Eliott thoroughly prepares his boyfriend, first with his tongue and then his fingers. Once he deems him stretched enough, he pours some more lube onto his erection and carefully presses the tip against Lucas' rim.

"You're sure?" he asks again, intertwining his fingers with Lucas' where both of his hands are clutching at the blanket underneath him on each side of his body.

"I'm sure," Lucas confirms with a smile as he wraps his legs around Eliott's waist, pulling him inside.

They both moan at the feeling and Eliott has to hold himself from closing his eyes. He doesn't want to miss a second of this. Lucas may feel even warmer than hell inside but the older boy is pretty sure he just ascended to heaven. What it feels like with a condom doesn't even come close to this, right now.

He keeps slowly pushing in until he can't go any deeper and gives Lucas a few seconds to get used to it. Then, he pulls back so only the tip is still inside before slamming back in. The moans that come out of his boyfriend's mouth may be the sweetest sounds he has ever heard in his entire life.

However, it doesn't last long before Lucas grabs his shoulders, digging his nails into the flesh.

"Wait! Wait!" he pants out. "Pull out please. Wanna try something."

Not trusting his voice, Eliott does as Lucas asks, anxiously wondering what he did wrong but then his boyfriend brings his legs up against his chest, nearly bending himself in half. He puts his knees on Eliott's shoulders who gets the message and slowly pushes back inside him. The new angles allows him to go even deeper which makes them both whine out loud. They quickly settle into a rhythm and their moans echo through the empty house.

"Eli, please! Please! Eliott!"

"Lucas, shit! Fuck! Lucas!

When Lucas comes, he lets out a high pitched noise and clenches around Eliott who follows right after. He collapses on top of his boyfriend who tightens his arms around him, keeping him as close as he can.

The older boy finds himself whishing they never had to get out of this little bubble, that they could just stay like that for the rest of their lives until they're both grey and wrinkled and old. He would gladly spend the next 50 years or so in this little abandoned house lost in the middle of nowhere with not a single care for the world outside. Yeah. What a way to go.

"I love you," he whispers against Lucas' pulse. "I love you so much and I want to spend my life with you."

His boyfriend chuckles softly before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Good because I love you too and I want us to spend our lives together too."

Eliott smiles and as he feels himself drifting off to sleep, happier than he has felt in a while, he thinks of the paper that's still in the pocket of his jeans. He can now cross two more things off his list.


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not dead (Yet) 😅 I just had 2 crazy weeks. I'll spare you the details but I really wasn't in the mood to write anything so I'm sorry for the delay but I'm back now and with a new chapter of this story, one of Time Never Stops and also one little surprise I'll let you discover if you go through the tag 😋
> 
> Please enjoy 🥰❤🥰
> 
> Also, if those who called be a bitch on Twitter and Tumblr are still here 🖕🏻 No one is forcing you to read this btw. You're free to leave anytime you want

August passes by in the blink on an eye and before Eliott even knows it, it's nearly time for school to start again. Lucas has already quit the coffee shop as prep school begins next week. Considering it might be their last chance to have some fun all together in a while, Daphné decided to throw a party to gather them all together one last time so that's why everyone finds themselves at Lucas and Eliott's apartment on Saturday night.

The scene is not unlike their housewarming party in January but Eliott has to admit he likes this one a lot better. He can honestly say he's with his friends tonight rather than Lucas', he isn't just coming out of an episode and he feels totally at peace with himself, more than he did in a long time. Almost.

Sofiane is there and they've already made fools of themselves while dancing much to Lucas and Imane's pleasure who now have enough blackmailing pictures and videos to last them a lifetime. Only one thing is missing. One person actually.

He doesn't want to be a downer and breaks the mood so he excuses himself and makes his way to their bedroom, closing the door behind him. He sighs deeply and sits down on the bed. He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his face into his hands.

He's been stalling on his list of things to do since that night at the abandoned house. If he hadn't, then...

"What are you here all by yourself while all of our friends are out there having fun?" a voice asks him out of sudden, making him jump.

He looks up from his lap and can't help but smile when he sees Lucas standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a soft look in his eyes.

"You know," his boyfriend continues as he makes his way over to Eliott before sitting down on his lap, "that mysterious guy act may have worked on me last year but now I know you're a big dork."

The older boy finds himself melting under Lucas' gaze and he lazily wraps his arms around his waist.

"Sorry," he apologizes as Lucas starts playing gently with his hair. "I just didn't want to ruin anyone's mood."

He sighs and briefly looks up to the ceiling before meeting Lucas' eyes again.

"I was thinking of Idriss," he admits. "If I had done things differently this summer he could have been here tonight."

Something he can't quite name flashes across his boyfriend's face and his smile widens but he doesn't get to question Lucas about it as someone knocks on the front door. No. He didn't, did he?

"I wonder who's there," the younger boy says innocently although the mischievous smile in his eyes is hard to miss. "Let's go greet them!"

He stands up and takes Eliott's hand in his, intertwining their fingers together before leading him out of their bedroom and toward the entrance of their apartment. At this point, all of his limbs feel like they're made of jelly and he can't do anything but follow Lucas. The younger boy reassuringly squeezes his hand before opening the door and Eliott's knees nearly give up underneath him.

Idriss hasn't changed at all since the last time they saw each other the year before at the Bakhellal's house. The only difference is the look on his face. If anything, he looks even more nervous than Eliott is feeling, as if he had been the one to do something wrong.

"Hey Idriss," Lucas greets him with a kind smile, pulling the other boy in a quick hug. "I'm happy you came."

"Thank you for the invitation," he tells him as his eyes flicker up to Eliott. "I couldn't pass the opportunity."

The silence hangs heavy between the three of them so Lucas takes a step back.

"I'm going to leave you two now," he says as he's about to go back to their guests and Eliott can't resist anymore.

He cups his boyfriend's cheeks and pulls him into an eager kiss. Lucas seems taken back for a second but then he kisses him back, giggling against his lips.

"Thank you," he whispers after pulling back. "Thank you for this."

The younger boy covers his hands with his own before kissing Eliott's palm.

"You're welcome," Lucas tells him, offering him one last reassuring smile before walking back inside, leaving Eliott and Idriss alone in the entrance.

However, Eliott isn't quite sure of what he's supposed to say. Unlike with Sofiane, he hasn't talked to Idriss in over a year. Should he apologize first? Ask him what he's been up to recently? Thankfully, his former best friend beats him to it.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Idriss offers with a tentative smile.

"I'd like that," Eliott immediately accepts, nodding.

He takes his keys, phone and wallet before following the other boy down the staircase and out of the building. He doubts Idriss has any specific destination in mind but this isn't a conversation meant for anyone else than the two of them.

They walk down the street, the feets separating them feeling like a metaphor of the ravine that has grown between them. A ravine Eliott knows himself responsible of.

For several minutes, neither of them say anything and he can't help but start to wonder if maybe it's not too late to salvage their friendship. Unlike Sofiane, Idriss can hold a grudge for a long, long time if he puts his mind to it. Eliott had experimented it once when they were young. Kids. He had accidentally blown up one of Idriss' balls who had ignored him for over a month. It wasn't until a teary eyed Eliott had knocked on his door with a brand new ball that Idriss had finally forgiven him. But he doubts there's anything he could do to ask for his forgiveness this time.

They've been silent for over fifteen minutes when Idriss finally speaks.

"I was so fucking angry at you," he tells Eliott, not looking at him but rather staring at the pavement in front of them. "After the party last June, I had thought we were good but then days passed, weeks, months even and you hadn't texted me. Not even once. I started believing you had just put on a show for Lucas."

"Idriss," he tries to say, feeling his heart sinking at the bottom of his chest, "it wasn't-"

"Let me finish!" Idriss interrupts him as he stops walking, making Eliott do the same. "I thought you were an hypocrite and for a while, I fucking hated you."

Eliott feels tears welling up in his eyes but he tries to blink them away, not wanting to break down right here. Idriss' stare is ice cold and he wonders if maybe telling him all of this isn't the only reason why he accepted Lucas' invitation. What if making up hadn't been on his mind at all when he knocked in their door?

This feels so different from the Idriss he grew up with. He can't barely even believe it. But then, the other boy's features soften and a sad smile appears on his lips.

"Then, one day, Imane got enough of me sulking alone at home and told me I wasn't much better than you considering I hadn't tried to contact you either and she was right."

He lets out a humorless chuckle and looks up to the sky.

"I was aiming all of my anger at you while I was actually mad at myself. I could have texted you, asking what you were up to but I didn't so I'm just as much to blame than you for the last year."

"I never wanted to ignore you guys," Eliott confesses, his voice trembling.

"And we never should have let you do it either!"

A second passes and then Eliott finds himself crossing the distance, pulling the other boy into a tight hug as he lets out a sob.

"I was so fucking scared!" he whispers, his voice muffled by the fabric of Idriss' shirt. "I fucked up everything between us that night when I tried to kiss you! Then I messed up again when I cut you and Sofiane off my life after the party. I'm so fucking sorry. I missed you!"

He hears Idriss sniffing and the arms around him tighten, clutching at his shirt.

"It's okay," his best friend says, his voice sounding like he's trying to not break down into tears. "It's okay. I missed you too!"

Eliott can't tell how long they spend like this holding each other tightly but by the time they pull back, he finally feels completely at peace.

"By the way," Idriss tells him, letting out a watery chuckle, "for what it's worth, I definitely approve of Lucas."

It's Eliott's turn to giggle and he can't help but smile at the mention of his boyfriend.

"Good because I plan to have him around for a very, very long time!"

"You think he's the one?" the other boy teases him in an affectionate tone.

And Eliott nods, now grinning widely.

"I know he is!"

And there's still so much stuff they need to tell each other, so many stories to share. His thoughts briefly drift to the party going on but then he remembers it was his hedgehog who contacted Idriss so he probably knew it would take a while before they would come back.

"Let's go!" he tells him, motioning for Idriss to follow him as he starts walking. "Let's find a place to talk."

***

By the time Eliott goes back to the apartment, the party is over and everybody has already gone home. Lucas is cleaning up when the older brother walks in. They don't need words to understand each other. Eliott just nods and smiles tiredly before opening his arms while his boyfriend crosses the distance between them and buries himself into his embrace. Eliott sighs happily and closes his eyes, slowly rocking them from side to side.

"I love you," he whispers, kissing the side of Lucas' head. "Thank you for inviting him."

"I love you too," the younger boy tells him.

After letting go of each other, they turn off all the lights and agree to continue the next day. For now, all they want is to hold each other so they make their way to their bedroom and strips down to their underwear before slipping under the covers. They're laying face to face but Lucas still feels too far away so Eliott throws one leg over his boyfriend's waist and cups his cheeks, pulling him closer so their foreheads are pressed together.

"How did it go?" the younger boy wonders after a moment.

"Very well," Eliott explains with a smile. "Thanks to you!"

Lucas sighs happily and brushes their noses together.

"I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do," he confesses with a childish pout that is way too adorable for Eliott to stop himself from giggling. "But then he came in this week at the coffee shop and I thought it was a sign so we talked a little and I ended up inviting him."

Another thing to thank his lucky star for.

"It was perfect," Eliott reassures him, softly pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. "And just so you know, you're officially stuck with me forever now because Idriss might cry if you ever leave me."

It's Lucas' turn to giggle this time.

"Is that so? What did you tell him?"

Eliott's smile widens.

"That you had recreated Polaris for our first kiss. He told me and I quote that I should marry you before someone steals you away from me."

A blush spreads across Lucas' cheeks and Eliott can feel them going warm under his hands.

"Is that what you want?" his boyfriend asks him gently, not an ounce of teasing in his voice. "To marry me?"

"I thought this was a given already," Eliott replies, sighing happily. "Then, when we'll be 50, we'll buy a van to go to Kathmandu."

However, he gets aware of what this must look like so he quickly makes things clear.

"That's not a proposal though! You will know when it will be one. I'm planning to absolutely sweep you off your feet that day."

"You better!" Lucas warns him, laughing as he rolls them over so he's now straddling Eliott. "I'm not settling for anything less than a plane writing the question up in the sky."

Eliott bursts into laughter before pulling him into a kiss.

***

The next morning, Eliott is awaken by his phone going absolutely crazy on the nightstand. The bed is empty beside him and he groans as he reaches for his phone. His eyes grow wide when he sees the cause of all this chaos.

"Lucas!" he calls out, trying to sound angry although he knows he's failing.

Somewhere in the apartment, his boyfriend starts laughing and Eliott lets himself fall back onto his pillows, grinning so widely his cheeks will probably hurt soon.


End file.
